Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
