Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
