i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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