what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
