Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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