ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
