Sponge bath it is.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
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