if only i could text you this smell
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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