It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
