that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My vagina just recognized that song.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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