Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
