no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
