What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
