i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize