Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
