Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
