Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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