Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
