How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize