Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
