I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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