Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
