i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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