how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
