I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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