I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
