That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
