so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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