Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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