so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
