i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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