"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
