seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
