I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
