Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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