I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize