I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Enjoy the penises
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
