the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
