Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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