He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
