I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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