nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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