You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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