so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
