I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she woke up with a sticky ear
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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