what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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