Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
