definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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