So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
