lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
