you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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