i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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