barbara walters just said penis...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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