And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
