eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
false alarm, still single
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
