apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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