sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
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I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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