i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
