i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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