And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
