We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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