I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
