did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
