Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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