ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize