We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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